Feeling stressed?
When you jump onto the homeschooling bus, it’s a very exciting time as you and your family begin an adventure in education, learning, life and relationship. For many it becomes a long-term lifestyle. For some it can also be a taxing time when you realise that days don’t always follow the idyllic idea you had in your mind. This can cause a disconnect in what we think homeschooling should be and what it actually is in the day to day living of it.
If you add any possible parenting challenges, special needs or relational tensions, you can end up being a very stressed homeschool mom. Over the years we have faced our own stressful times and some key practices have helped us get through them.
5 tips to help the stressed homeschool mom
Tip # 1 Determine what is really going on in the home.
Is it a temporary situation (like renovations or illness) or is it stressor that seems to be settling in to a permanent position in the home. If its temporary, accept what is and get through it the best you can. If it is an undesirable permanent fixture – like a curriculum that’s not working, or an attitude that a child is exhibiting – find a way to fix it. Many parents change their curriculum, sure it’s sad to waste money, but switching out a curriculum to something more suitable in the long run will be a wiser return on your investment than just slogging through something. If there is a relational situation, seek counsel from trusted advisors and make the needed change.
Tip #2 Make sure that you find time for yourself every day.
Some mothers of young children may be laughing out loud at this statement, but we really mean it. If it means you need to go to bed an hour earlier so you can get up before your children to drink your tea or coffee and read a book or do your devotions alone, then do that. Charlotte Mason coined the term “Mother Culture” where she encouraged mothers to make sure they were pursuing their own growth and education (not at the expense of her husband and children) so that she would have better mental balance in the day-to-day nature of the home.
Tip #3 Prioritise where you should spend your time.
There is a time in our lives as we homeschool that we have to plan (or double plan!) every minute so that we can get through the day of meals, cleaning, parenting, schooling and more. This is part of what we signed up for as wives and mothers. But in it we need to keep our priorities straight. If we are constantly stressed because we have too much on our plate, a wise woman should consider cutting out a few things until she is more peaceful. In an age where everything is happening so fast for our children and ourselves, as we are bombarded with information via screens and social media, we owe it to ourselves, husbands and children to be a peaceful presence in our homes.
Tip #4 Get systems in place that support you, not ones that choke you.
Homeschool moms come in all different personality types. Some A-types may love the structure of a schedule, chore charts and timetables. Other moms may prefer to do what comes next as things need to be done. Neither is right or wrong. If we adopt systems that go against our innate nature, they are likely to cause major internal conflict and you guessed it…stress and anxiety. Needless to say, chores need to get done, meals need to be made and learning needs to take place. Put your own style of systems in place that work and ditch the ones that don’t, and ignore the often well-intended advice of: “If you do it this way…” when you know it won’t work for you.
Tip #5 Never underestimate how much your family needs you.
…but they need a healthy you! Make sure you care for yourself with diet and exercise so that you walk through their ups and downs with them. If you suffer from long term stress and anxiety, make sure you look at other things that may be the issue and get yourself the help you need. For some, it may be a weekly date with a trusted friend for support, it may be taking supplements to support your immune system and/or cleaning up your diet with a daily walk in a green space. For others they may need heavier intervention like a life coach or regular counseling sessions. But do what you need to do to find a way through your stress…you are worth it!
While none of these are a magic wand to make problems go away, done consistently over time your stress levels should reduce and you can once again be a joyful peaceful presence in your home.